Blond & Blonde:  Lucius and Narcissa -- Come play with us... if you dare.

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Fanfiction by Rochelle

Information § Fanfiction

Like Love, Only Real: Chapter 10-Epilogue

Prologue-Chapter 4 § Chapter 5-9 § Chapter 10-Epilogue

Disclaimer: All hail J.K. Rowling, hers, not mine, etc.

Rating: R

Genre: Drama, Romance

Summary: We've all seen the scenario of Lucius and Narcissa having an arranged marriage. Said scenario usually ends in misery, at least for poor, mistreated Narcissa. But what if, instead, it led to true love for two people who might never have gotten together otherwise? That's what happens here. Along the way, you'll also watch Narcissa go from being a naive young girl whose only sexual and romantic education comes from cheesy romance novels to being a poised, strong young woman who is capable of holding her own as Lucius Malfoy's wife.


Chapter Ten: Wedded Bliss

"Is it really necessary to kick the house-elf, Dear?" Narcissa drawled. She was lounging on the sofa in the living room, engaged in a book titled Life Without Muggles: Arguments For and Against. Of course, she tended to skip over the Muggle-positive sections. She regarded them as mere lies told to placate Mudbloods and the Muggle-loving masses.

As for Lucius, he had just walked into the room less than a minute ago. On his way to joining his wife on the sofa, he had kicked the resident house-elf, Dobby, hard enough to send him flying right into the coffee table. After apologizing profusely for being in his master's path, Dobby scampered off to retrieve the day's post.

"Dobby was in my way," Lucius answered coldly, "and he is just a servant." He sat down next to Narcissa and told her, "To be perfectly honest with you, I always thought you and your family were much too kind to your house-elf, letting her participate in the wedding and all. If you give them too much leeway, they might start thinking too highly of themselves."

"Like Muggles," Narcissa giggled, tickled by her own wit.

Lucius laughed a little. "Yes, precisely."

"You really should read this book, Lucius. I find it quite fascinating." Narcissa turned a page. "Would you believe that Muggles even shun and ridicule their own kind for attempting to use magic?"

"Not surprising," Lucius said with a shrug. "It was, what, only two or three centuries ago that Muggles tortured and murdered each other for that same thing."

Narcissa shook her head. "Barbaric. Absolutely barbaric. I'm certainly glad that I was raised better than to associate with such filth." She stretched, yawned, and laid down so that her head was in Lucius' lap. She then reached up and played with Lucius' hair, a lock of which had slipped over his shoulder.

"I can't wait to have children with you, Lucius," Narcissa said with a bit of a dreamy look in her eyes. "We'll be sure to raise them with the proper values, even if others of our kind have lost sight of such."

Lucius took Narcissa's hand and kissed each one of her fingers. "The feeling is mutual," he said. "I hope that, tonight, we'll conceive our first child."

"As do I." Narcissa paused, then said, "An entire year of marriage, nearly all of it perfect. Who would have guessed we would come so far after how things started off?"

Today was their first anniversary. Narcissa had set aside a day in her busy social schedule; Lucius had taken a day off from his work at the Ministry. The couple had no specific plans, save for an intimate dinner at home and their own special "dessert" afterward. They had also bought each other gifts to be exchanged that night.

"I agree," Lucius said. "I might even go so far as to call it fate."

"I don't like it when you're gone nights, though," Narcissa reprimanded him with a charming little pout. "I would almost think you're having an affair." She was teasing him, of course. She knew where he was. He was working with Voldemort to help ensure that their future children wouldn't have to be bothered with Muggles and all their stupidity.

Lucius' eyes twinkled. "You know that's nonsense," he said. "Do you honestly think that I would bring another woman into our marriage without asking you to join in the fun?"

Narcissa laughed and told him, "Lucius, you're so wicked." She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. "That's part of what I love about you."

Just as Narcissa and Lucius were about to start their dessert plans a few hours early, Dobby came back into the room carrying a few letters. He was trembling as he said, "Um... Dobby begs your pardon, Master and Missus, but... these came for you today."

Lucius glared at Dobby and snatched the letters from him. "Go now," he snapped, "and don't bother us again unless it's an emergency."

"Y... yes, Master." Dobby snapped his fingers and vanished.

Lucius looked over the post and set aside the first two letters. The last one, he handed to Narcissa as he said, "This one is from your friend Suzanne."

Narcissa squealed like a schoolgirl as she unfolded the letter. "How wonderful!" she exclaimed. "I haven't heard from her in weeks." It read:

Dear Narcissa,

Happy anniversary to you and Lucius both. I hope that life is treating you well, and that Lucius is still being as... shall we say, "attentive" as you said he was on your wedding night.

I'm doing splendidly. I'm in Paris now and should be for the next two months. If you would like to contact, me, the address is written at the end of this letter....

The rest of Suzanne's letter was a lively summary of the places she'd seen and the men she had met, and what she had done with those men in some rather unexpected places. Hm, Narcissa thought as she read, I never believed it was possible to do that in a Muggle taxi.

"What does is say?" Lucius asked.

"She wishes us well," Narcissa replied, "and she's in Paris now." She set the letter aside.

"Paris?" Lucius thought a moment. "Wasn't she in Greece before?"

"Mm-hm. She never stays in one place for long."

"An adventurous girl, that one."

Narcissa pretended offense. "And does that mean you find me boring?"

Lucius assured her, "Far, far from it." His hand was inching steadily up Narcissa's thigh. "Now, where were we before?"

"I'd say... right about here." Narcissa placed her hands on her husband's shoulders and kissed his lips slowly and sensually. "Why don't we start on having those children right now."

- - - - - -

Dear Suzanne, Narcissa wrote, Lucius is a wonderful husband. He treats me like a queen (as he should), and as I've said before, he is quite talented in bed -- not that I like to about this, ha, ha. And we're working on starting a family now. I stopped taking the potion three nights before our anniversary.

I think he enjoys this project. He tries to persuade me to partake of it at every opportunity, not that that's necessarily bad. But it was a bit convenient, though, trying to get my hair looking decent again at the Lindales' party last weekend. I'm just grateful no one opened that closet while we were making use of it.

Your Friend,

Narcissa Malfoy.

Narcissa folded the letter neatly, sealed it and gave it to Balthasar. Then, she returned to the master bedroom to wait for Lucius. He arrived shortly and was in quite a hurry.

"Have you taken the test yet?" Lucius asked anxiously as he breezed through the bedroom door. He couldn't have returned from work more than five minutes ago. He hadn't even taken off his cloak.

"No kiss hello?" Narcissa inquired.

Lucius kissed her on the cheek. "Have you taken it yet?" he asked again.

Narcissa told him, "It's right here." She picked up a little cardboard box that was sitting on the dresser. "I wanted you to be here when I took it." She opened up the box and took out a translucent orange sphere. Also included was a chewable white pill.

"I have to take this pill," Narcissa explained to Lucius, "and hold this sphere in my hand for three minutes. If the sphere turns blue, I'm pregnant. If it turns white... I'm not." She and Lucius sat on the bed.

Narcissa took the pill. She then held the orange sphere tightly in her right hand while Lucius watched the clock. Lucius was definitely nervous, possibly even more so than Narcissa was. She noticed that he was twisting and untwisting part of his cloak, and that his teeth were clenched.

"It's time," Lucius said after awhile, turning to look at Narcissa again. "What are the results?"

Narcissa slowly opened her hand. The sphere was snowy white. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize," Lucius assured her. "We've only been at this for two weeks, and it may take some time."

They kept trying again and again for the next six months. Narcissa still was not with child, and Lucius' understanding had started to wane.

"You're seeing a doctor," Lucius said curtly after the most recent negative test. "This is becoming ridiculous."

"Well, what about you?" Narcissa pointed out. "This could just as easily be an issue on your part."

Lucius stood up, crossed his arms and looked out the window, which overlooked the water garden. "Well, your parents are the ones who took forever to conceive you," he explained. "Mine conceived me right away without any sort of difficulty. Therefore, this is most likely your fault."

Narcissa squeaked out an indignant little noise. "My fault?" she shrieked. "Lucius, that is the single most pig-headed, insensitive --"

"No arguments. We're making an appointment."

Narcissa sniffed. "Fine," she relented, "I'll see the doctor. But only because I want a child, not because you said so."

- - - - - -

The doctor that Narcissa and Lucius agreed on was Doctor Niobe Cross, one of the Wizarding world's foremost experts in female fertility issues. Narcissa couldn't help feeling just a bit smug that a lesser family would have had to make an appointment weeks or months in advance to consult a physician of her caliber (even if Narcissa did hate being examined), but Doctor Cross had agreed to make a house call for her the very next morning.

"Good day, Mrs. Malfoy," Doctor Cross said amiably when the two of them met in the foyer. "I'm Doctor Niobe Cross. If you wish, you may simply call me Niobe." She had brought a portable examination table with her along with her bag of instruments and testing supplies.

"Thank you, Doctor Cross," Narcissa said, "but I'd just as soon skip the niceties and get this over with."

"All right. Lets get started, then."

The examination took place right one of the Malfoys' guest rooms. First, Doctor Cross set up the examination table next to the gues bed. Then she asked Narcissa several questions about her monthly cycles, her stress levels, her eating habits, her sleeping habits, medications and everything else under the sun. A few blood samples were also taken. Finally, the doctor asked Narcissa to undress and lie down on the table, which she did.

How long is this going to take? Narcissa wondered, twitching a little under the white sheet that was draped over her. "Are you finished yet?" she asked irritably.

"Just a bit more," Doctor Cross promised. To conclude the exam, she waved a round, mirrorlike object over Narcissa's uterus. "Hm. That's interesting."

"What's interesting?"

"I'll have to take care of the blood tests, of course, but you seem to be perfectly healthy. As yet, I see no medical reason why you can't conceive a child."

"Really." Narcissa stepped down from the table and got dressed.

Doctor Cross nodded and said, "Yes. I'd recommend you have your husband see this man." She scribbled down a name and address on her mini parchment roll with the quill she kept in the pocket of her close-fitting white medical robes. "His name is Doctor Elgin Greener. He specializes in issues of male infertility, and he's quite discreet." She tore off a piece of the parchment.

Narcissa took to paper and said, "Thank you. I'll let him know." Then she paused and asked, "Could you please write and sign a letter stating that I'm in perfect health? I doubt Lucius would believe me if I told him otherwise."

"Assuming the blood tests turn out well, yes, of course I will."

And using the potions she had brought with her, Doctor Cross ran those tests, too. While Narcissa had no idea of what the doctor was looking for, Doctor Cross assured her that, yes, she did have a clean bill of health.

I wonder how Lucius will react? Narcissa thought. She went to the manor's largest study and read for awhile. Somehow, I doubt that he will just be happy for me.

Once Lucius had returned from work, Narcissa told him the news and showed him Doctor Cross's letter. He stared at it for a long time, neither moving or speaking.

"Lucius," Narcissa said delicately, "I think it's your turn now. I'll schedule the appointment for you if you like."

"I'm not seeing any doctor," Lucius said stubbornly. "We've just been unlucky."

Narcissa gave an exasperated sigh, like a mother dealing with a petulant child. "Just yesterday," she said through gritted teeth, "you were blaming me for our not being able to conceive. And now that that has been ruled out, you say that it's bad luck?"

Lucius shouted, "There is nothing wrong with me! Stop saying that there is!" Unless Narcissa was mistaken, there were tears in his eyes. Before she could confirm it, though, Lucius stormed away and shut himself up in the study.

Lucius.... Narcissa didn't know what to do. She had never seen her husband so irrational and angry. She decided to leave him alone for now and wrote a letter to Suzanne explaining the situation. She sent it off that very evening.

- - - - - -

Dear Narcissa,

I think you should make him see a doctor, regardless of how much he protests. To me, it sounds as though he's hiding something, and you have a right to know what it is.

Your Friend,

Suzanne.

Narcissa showed Lucius Suzanne's letter. Lucius wouldn't look Narcissa in the eye after he read it, but instead stared at the floor.

"It's true," Narcissa whispered. She touched Lucius' arm, looking up at him. "Lucius, you're hiding something, aren't you?"

Lucius clenched his fists. "Fine," he said, "I will see a doctor. Set up an appointment as soon as you can." But he still wouldn't answer her question.

Narcissa opted not to pry. Instead, she simply used a Connection Charm on one of her hand mirrors to contact Doctor Greener.

That very night, Doctor Elgin Greener came to Malfoy Manner to examine Lucius and run a few tests. Narcissa knew that Lucius didn't like doctors any more than she did, and she respected his wishes when he said he didn't want her there for the examination. She waited outside of the spare room. And waited. And waited. And waited. It wasn't until nearly two hours later that Doctor Greener emerged. Lucius, wearing his pants but no shirt, was sitting on the guest bed. He looked like he had just received the Dementor's Kiss.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Doctor Greener said delicately, "it might be best if you joined us in here. I have some difficult news for you, and I think you should sit down."

"I would rather stand, thank you," Narcissa said, alarmed. "What is it?"

Doctor Greener took a deep breath and fiddled with the quill in his breast pocket. "There is no easy way to give a couple this kind of news, and I'm very, very sorry." Then, finally, he said, "Mrs. Malfoy... your husband is sterile."

Chapter Eleven: For Better or For Worse

"Sterile?" Narcissa repeated. All color had drained from her face. "How is that possible?"

Doctor Greener responded, "Apparently, the exact cause of it occurred some time ago. But the problem is due to considerable scarring in the vas defrens and very low sperm production. To me, it looks like the aftermath of an infection."

"Infection?" Narcissa shot Lucius a questioning and somewhat angry look. Granted, he had never given her reason to believe he was unfaithful, but in light of this.... Could this have been the secret he was hiding? That he had slept with someone else? She wished to give her husband the benefit of the doubt, but for now, it wasn't easy.

"I'll explain to you later," Lucius promised. He sounded very, very tired, but Narcissa still intended to hold him to his promise.

"Isn't there any way that we could have a baby?" Narcissa asked, turning her attention back to the doctor. "Any way at all?"

Doctor Greener shook his head. "I'm afraid that your odds of conceiving a child are less than one in five hundred at this point. We're working on new treatments, but.... At this stage, there really isn't anything available that would be much help."

Narcissa thanked the doctor for his services, paid him and sent him on his way. Then, she shut the door, stood over her husband, put her hands on her hips and demanded, "What happened?"

"It isn't what you're thinking," Lucius said. "It's something that my mother passed on when she gave birth to me, and she caught it from my father. Why don't you sit down?"

Narcissa did as Lucius asked and listened carefully as he related the story. As Lucius spoke, he stared either at the floor or straight ahead, and he sounded like he was talking about someone else's experience.

Apparently, Montgomery Malfoy had been unfaithful to his wife throughout their entire marriage, even on the day after their wedding. He had contracted a disease in the course of his dalliances and, without knowing it, passed it on to Desireé.

Neither of them showed any notable symptoms -- at least not until they tried to conceive a second child two years after Lucius' birth. That was when Desireé saw a physician and found out that she had been rendered barren.

"They tested me, too," Lucius concluded, "and I was infected as well. I was given treatment on the spot, but there was no way of knowing how extensive the damage was until...."

"Until you were old enough to have children," Narcissa finished for him. She put her arm around her husband. "You didn't know before now?" she asked sympathetically. Now that Lucius had told her the truth, her anger was long gone. If anything, she felt sorry for him for having fallen victim to his father's error.

Lucius told her, "No. I was afraid to find out." He twisted his hands in his hair and let out a shaky breath. "He took that from us," he said, more to himself than to Narcissa. "I can't even carry on the family name because of him." He lifted his gaze to the ceiling and gave a cold, bitter laugh. "Damn it, Father, can't you even get out of my life when you're dead?"

Narcissa hugged Lucius and assured him, "We'll find a way to get through this. Any chance, however minute, is still a chance. And even if we don't have children, we still have each other."

Lucius stood up, turned his back to her and folded his arms. "You don't understand," he said. "I don't think you can."

Narcissa raised an eyebrow and asked, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it." Lucius grabbed his shirt and stormed out of the room.

Things were not the same after that. Lucius became very distant and sometimes downright cold towards Narcissa, and he showed no interest at all in making love. Instead, he chose to terrorize Dobby when he was at home since the house-elf made a convenient punching bag. Truthfully, Narcissa almost felt sorry for the poor creature whenever she saw Lucius hit him with his walking stick or throwing a book at him, or when she saw Lucius kicking Dobby in the head. But Dobby was, in Lucius' words, only a servant, and this was his lot in life.

Narcissa also discovered Lucius drinking brandy in his study almost every evening, often draining nearly half a bottle in one sitting. Afterward, he fell asleep in his armchair. Narcissa always brought a blanket to cover him with while he slept.

Dear Suzanne, Narcissa wrote, I want my husband back. Ever since we found out the news, he hasn't been himself. He barely speaks to me, he drinks a lot, and I'm worried that he'll kill our house-elf. You know how inconvenient it would be to get a new one.

I think that finding out certain facts has made him feel like less than a man, and I don't know how to convince him that I don't think he is. I'm fairly convinced that the only thing which could possibly bring him out of this is if I had his child, and with things being as they are... well.... Even if he were perfectly fine, that would be unlikely now as Lucius hasn't touched me in weeks.

Suzanne, you know all sorts of things about the world that I don't. If you are aware of anything at all that could help us, don't hesitate to tell me. Legality is not an issue.

Your friend,

Narcissa Malfoy.

"What are you writing?" Lucius asked as Narcissa folded up the letter. Narcissa jumped. She hadn't heard him enter the study.

"A letter to my mother," Narcissa lied easily. She was certain that if Lucius knew she had told anyone -- especially someone outside of the family -- about his condition, he would probably never forgive her. Besides, she had written her mother a letter and sent it earlier that day.

"Does she know?"

"No. I haven't told her." And this was the truth.

Lucius didn't say anything, but he did look somewhat relieved. "Leave me now," he told Narcissa, sinking into his favorite leather chair. "I would like a bit of privacy." On the table next to him was the remainder of last night's bottle, and in his right hand was a brandy snifter.

"Why?" Narcissa chided him. "So that you can drink yourself into a stupor again?"

"That's really none of your business."

"I'm your wife, and that makes it my business. I hate seeing you this way."

"Leave me," Lucius told her again in a darker tone, "or I will make you leave."

Narcissa blinked in shock. Was Lucius... threatening her? "Lucius...."

"NOW!" The look in his eyes was pure hatred, condensed.

Too taken aback to argue with him, Narcissa only said, "I'll be here if you need me," and left Lucius alone in the study. She hurried up the stairs and into the small owlery where Balthasar resided.

"Get this to Suzanne as quickly as possible," Narcissa urged the owl. "It's terribly important." She tied the letter to Balthasar's leg with a red silk ribbon. Balthasar hooted and flew out the window. Then, Narcissa headed to the linen closet to retrieve tonight's blanket.

- - - - - -

Dear Narcissa,

I can only think of one way out of this. I doubt you'll like it, though, but Witches of your station have done it in secret for over two centuries. It involves a certain potion; I think that you should pay a visit to an old friend. I know that he would be discreet, and I think he'd be willing to help you out in any way he could....

Narcissa read and re-read the letter, unable to accept what she had seen with her own eyes. What Suzanne was suggesting was... it was....

That's out of the question, Narcissa thought firmly. I could never do that! But nonetheless, she hid the letter away in the false bottom of her locked jewelry box, just in case she changed her mind. Since Lucius was at work, Narcissa had until the evening to fret openly without fear of being caught or questioned, and she paced around the master bedroom for almost an hour.

What Suzanne had suggested was that Narcissa get pregnant by another man. After that, she was to drink the obscure and very difficult-to-make natalis potion to ensure that the baby would look like Lucius. And, of course, the only man Narcissa knew who she would trust with such a secret and who more than likely had the skills to brew the potion... was her former lover, Severus Snape. But it wasn't just the idea of cheating on Lucius that bothered her. It was the fact that, if she had Severus' child, it wouldn't be Pureblood.

Granted, Narcissa had fantasized as an idealistic schoolgirl about the possibility of marrying Severus, but the prospect of having children with him had never entered her mind. Yes, she could have him as a friend. Yes, she could have him as a lover. But his blood was much too tainted for Narcissa to consider passing it on to her children.

But Voldemort accepted him, Narcissa rationalized, and his other qualities -- his intelligence, his wit, his determination -- are perfect. Perhaps I.... No. No, I just can't. She sat down on the bed and pushed her heavy hair away from her face, laying it over her shoulder. What am I supposed to do?

Could Narcissa really bear a non-Pureblood child? If she did, she would betray everything she had come to believe in, namely the importance of keeping Wizarding bloodlines pure. And how well would she tolerate having to live a lie from then on?

What if Lucius found out somehow? He would most likely kill Severus for defiling his wife and disgracing the Malfoy name.

What if Severus had forgotten about her? And what if he wouldn't help anyway, even if Narcissa asked?

Narcissa checked the wall clock. She had a charity auction to attend in roughly two hours, so she needed to get ready. Perhaps a hot bath would help ease her mind. She was also glad that the auction and all its related socializing would postpone her having to see Lucius again for at least an extra hour.

- - - - - -

"You're getting in late," Lucius observed. He was waiting for Narcissa in the foyer, sitting on the sofa and watching the door. On the coffee table were a snifter and a partly-empty bottle of brandy.

"I was at the auction, Lucius," Narcissa reminded him, tossing her cloak to Dobby. "You know I have to attend those things. It ran a bit long, and I also met two of my school friends there."

"Were either of them men?"

"Not unless either Anna or Daphne fell victim to some horrible magical mishap."

Lucius took a long sip of brandy, draining the glass. He didn't say a word.

Then it dawned on her what Lucius was thinking. Dismayed, Narcissa said, "You don't believe me. You think I went to meet someone else." She sat down next to Lucius.

"Not that I would blame you, of course," Lucius said airily. "I mean, surely, you need someone to laugh with about my inadequacies. I'm surprised it isn't yet all over the papers."

"Lucius, I wouldn't do that to you. At least try to be rational."

"Rational?" Lucius stood up and hurled his brandy snifter into the wall behind him, shattering the glass into over a dozen tiny shards. Narcissa winced. "How can I be rational when I know that my own wife is laughing at me behind my back?" Lucius shouted. "Tell me his name! Who did you meet?"

Narcissa had to take a step back. She had never seen Lucius so enraged, and she said, "Lucius, you're frightening me. You don't know what you're saying."

Lucius gave a short, harsh laugh. "Don't I?" he seethed. "Why don't you admit it. You're going to leave me for a man who is... complete." But even at his angriest... even when he was clearly half-drunk... he never raised a hand to Narcissa. He only raised his voice.

Narcissa's expression softened. Lucius wouldn't hurt her, and she knew it. "Come here," she said. "There's something that I think is long overdue."

Lucius was visibly wary, but he still came to her. Narcissa kissed him on the cheek, brushed his hair away from his eyes and held his face between her hands, looking up at him.

"There is no one else, Lucius," Narcissa said firmly. "You're the one I love. And if you will come to the bedroom with me, I think it's time I showed you."

It took him awhile, but Lucius did say, "All right," and followed Narcissa up the stairs.

This was the first time that Narcissa and Lucius had made love nearly seven weeks. It was nothing that Narcissa ever would have expected, especially not with Lucius. She had to spend a lot of time consoling him, reassuring him and confirming that, yes, she still wanted him even if he couldn't fill his obligation.

"Are you sure you want this from me?"

"Yes, just like I always have."

"It won't result in anything."

"I wouldn't say that, Lucius."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes. I do."

In honesty, it was an awkward night. After waiting all this time, Narcissa wished she could say she enjoyed it. The man that she had married was confident, virile and simply delghtful. The person she'd been with last night -- the person she'd known for the last seven weeks -- was a broken, angry boy.

The following morning, while Lucius was gone, Narcissa retrieved the note from her jewelry box and read it again. Anything is better than this, she thought. I'll just deal with the consequences as they come.

First, Narcissa had to obtain at least one strand of Lucius' hair. She went to the master bath and smiled when she found that Lucius hadn't cleaned his comb this morning. She put several strands of his silvery hair in a small, black satin bag. Next, she used a charm to turn her own blonde locks brown to keep her from being easily recognized and donned her plainest traveling cloak. Finally, she Apparated onto the Hogwarts grounds. The last she had heard of Severus, he was still living there and serving as an apprentice teacher with Professor Parrish. She hoped he was still there.

Once Narcissa entered the castle itself, she hurried to Headmaster Dumbledore's office. If anyone would know Severus' whereabouts, it was him.

"Do I know you?" Dumbledore asked when Narcissa walked in. The smile playing on his lips told her that he knew exactly who she was.

"Just a former student," Narcissa replied, "in search of another former student. Is Severus Snape still here?"

"Yes. He has quarters in the Slytherin Dungeons. Go down the main staircase and turn to the left, and you should find them at the end of the hall."

"Thank you, Professor." Narcissa went to find Severus.

"Severus?" Narcissa knocked on the heavy wooden door. "Severus, are you there?"

"Who are you?" came a voice from the other side. Narcissa's heart leapt. Yes, it was definitely him.

Narcissa looked around, making sure no one was in earshot. Then she said, "It's me. It's Narcissa Chantal."

Severus quickly opened the door and ushered her in, closing the door behind them. "Why are you here?" he asked. "I haven't even heard from you since we left school."

Narcissa averted her gaze. "I need a favor," she replied. "I need a potion made, and you're the only one I'd trust to do it for me and tell no one about it."

"What sort of potion?"

"The natalis."

Severus gave her a rather strange look. "Married less than two years and already, you're--"

"No. It's nothing like that." Narcissa rubbed her arms as thought she were cold. "Lucius can't have children," she explained, "and it's taken a horrible toll on our marriage as well as on Lucius himself. I think this is the only way to put things right."

"I see." Severus leaned against the wall. "So," he asked, "who is the father of your child if you don't mind my asking?"

"That's another thing." Narcissa forced herself to look Severus in the eyes. "Severus... I want you give me a child. You have every right to refuse, of course, but I can think of no one better."

Chapter Twelve: Creating a Miracle

"Wait a minute," Severus said, "are you asking me to get you pregnant?" He looked as though Narcissa had just asked him to don a pink bunny suit.

Narcissa's gaze remained steady. "Yes," she replied, "that's exactly what I'm asking of you."

Severus took a deep breath, closed his eyes and shook his head. "Narcissa," he told her, "this is a very serious matter. If we had a child together--"

Narcissa cut in and corrected him, "No, Severus. The child will belong to Lucius and myself, not you. He and I will be the ones to raise it and, with the aid of the potion, it should look just like its father." Narcissa touched Severus' arm, still looking up at him. "All I want you to supply," she finished quietly, "is the one thing Lucius can't."

What Severus was thinking then wasn't easy to decipher. Then again, it rarely was. He sat down on his bed and wrung his hands between his knees.

"Severus?"

"All right," he said, "for you."

Narcissa's eyes sparkled with joy. "Thank you," she said breathlessly. "Thank you so much!" Narcissa tried to hug Severus, but he pushed her away. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

Severus told her, "No... not really. I think you're just being yourself." Before Narcissa could ask what he meant by that, he stood up and said, "I'll get started on the potion now. Do you have a strand of Lucius' hair?"

Narcissa reached into the pocket of her cloak and extracted the satin pouch. "It's in here."

"Good." Severus turned towards the door. "Oh," he said, glancing over his shoulder, "you may wait here if you wish. It should take about an hour."

"All right."

Severus left, shutting the door.

Narcissa surveyed Severus' living space, which was precisely what she would have expected of him: plain furniture, no decorations to speak of, and many, many books. She decided to busy herself by picking a book up and starting to read it.

"Narcissa?" Someone was shaking her gently. "Narcissa."

"Hm?" Narcissa yawned, sat up and stretched. "I'm sorry," she said, "I must have dozed off."

Severus picked up the hefty tome that lay at Narcissa's side. "Advanced Potions Theory And Beyond: Volume Five," he read. The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Not to your liking, I presume?"

"I haven't had much use for such things since I was in school, I suppose." Narcissa looked at the stoppered flask of thick, gunky pond scum green liquid that Severus had set on the nightstand. "Is that it?" she asked, making a face. There was a layer of yellowish froth forming on top of it.

"It is," Severus confirmed. "You'll have to drink it all at once, and it may be taken within seven days of conception -- or as late as six weeks afterward. The sooner you take it, however, the better."

"It looks horrid."

"It smells worse. I'd imagine the taste is quite nauseating."

Narcissa sighed. "Well, when I take it," she asked, "will there be any way at all for Lucius to find out I have?"

"No, not really," Severus responded. "There is a test for the potion's influence which could be given to your child, but it isn't terribly accurate." He sat next to her and added, staring straight ahead, "Besides, do you really think Lucius would ask?"

Narcissa thought it over. "No," she said, "no, he wouldn't." She had never known Lucius to pass up a chance at victory, and fathering a child in spite of the odds -- in spite of his father -- would probably be his ultimate triumph. How could he ever deny himself that?

Severus said matter-of-factly, "I presume that you would like to get the rest of this over with. If so, now would be as good a time as any."

"Oh." Narcissa blushed. "All right." She started taking off her clothes, and Severus did the same.

"Could you do me one favor?" Severus asked as he removed his shoes.

"What is it?"

Severus hesitated. Then he said, "Your hair. Please bring it back to its natural color."

"All right." Narcissa took the wand from her cloak, which lay in a pile on the floor, and used it to reverse the charm. "Finite Incantatum," she said. The mousy brown tint melted away, leaving waist-length strands of shining white gold.

Narcissa didn't participate much in the act of copulation. The less that she enjoyed it, she reasoned, the less unfaithful she was being to Lucius. This was simply a means to an end; she did her best to make it quick, meaningless and without emotion. Still, in the back of Narcissa's mind, she couldn't help remembering....

But I no longer love him, Narcissa told herself as she lay there. I love only Lucius now, and that is why I'm doing this. I'm doing this to have his child. I'm doing this for us.

As she repeated her mental mantra, Narcissa did her best not to look into Severus' eyes, even keeping her own shut whenever it was possible. Severus could never quite hide his emotions while they were being intimate, not back when they were students and certainly not now. And every time Narcissa looked into his eyes, the pain that shone in them was painful to see. She didn't blame herself, of course, or at least she tried not to. She wouldn't be held responsible for another person's emotions.

"You have what you want now," Severus said curtly, putting his pants back on. "You'd best get out of here before Lucius knows you're gone, yes?"

"You're right," Narcissa agreed, "but I don't want to leave on negative terms. I would still like for us to remain friends."

Severus' expression turned to a vitriolic sort of disdain that only he could muster. "Friends?" he repeated, sneering as he handed her the flask of Natalis Potion. "I don't ever want to see you again. You made it clear before that I have no further place in your life, and I shall respect your wishes."

"But Severus...."

"Narcissa. Good bye." He ushered her out of his quarters and practically slammed the door. Narcissa just stood there, dumbfounded.

- - - - - -

As soon as Narcissa returned home, she unstoppered The Natalis Potion and quickly gulped it down. It tasted even worse than Severus had predicted; it was rather like a cross between bile, blood and liquefied vomit. Still, she drank the whole thing down and managed to keep it in her stomach, which was no small feat. Afterward, she used a spell to disintegrate the flask.

Please let this be worth it, Narcissa hoped with all her might. Please let me be pregnant, and please, please let the potion work. And after about three weeks had passed, she received a sign of hope. For the first time since she was twelve years old, she had missed her period.

Please let me be pregnant, Narcissa thought again, just as she had every day since she had taken the potion. But now, it felt as though the stakes were even higher. She was close -- so very close -- and everything depended on the little orange sphere she was holding in her hand.

"What's this?" Lucius asked. He had just returned from work and had walked into the bedroom. He was looking right at the box on the nightstand. That very day, Narcissa had sent Dobby to purchase a pregnancy test which she was taking now.

"One moment, please," Narcissa told him. Her eyes were on the clock. "Just a bit longer and...." It was time. She took a deep breath. She opened her hand. And the sphere was brilliant blue. A broad grin broke across her face, and her eyes filled with tears of joy. "Lucius," Narcissa said, beaming at him, "you're going to be a father."

Lucius blinked. "Are you serious?"

"Yes! Just look!"

Lucius, gaping, seized the test sphere from his wife's hand. "But... but how?" he asked. "I mean, we've only rarely... and Doctor Greener said...."

"Less than one in five hundred," Narcissa confirmed, repeating the doctor's statistics. "It would seem we've beaten the odds."

Lucius looked a bit wobbly. He reached for the bed to steady himself and slowly sank down onto it. "I'm going to be a father," he said, tasting whose words for the first time. "I'm going to be... a father...."

Narcissa sat down next to him and kissed him on the cheek. "Yes," she said, "you are."

Lucius laughed with the joy of a child running to greet the summer sun. Then, for the first time in far too long, he took Narcissa in his arms and kissed her with a fiery passion she'd almost forgotten Lucius possessed. After this, there was no turning back.

- - - - - -

Life had returned to the Malfoy marriage. The news of Narcissa's pregnancy had resurrected Lucius' spirit and, with it, everything that Narcissa had come to love about him: his confidence, his drive, his desire. He was also a bit more doting, and he yelled at Dobby fairly often for not tending to Narcissa's needs in a timely enough fashion.

Lucius' obsession over his wife's welfare seemed to grow right with Narcissa's belly, not that Narcissa minded one bit. Truthfully, she rather liked having her husband fluff her pillows and massage her feet. It had to end eventually, though, which it did about eight more months down the road.

What was that? Narcissa wondered, rubbing her stomach. It was the middle of the night, and she had just been awakened by a sudden squeezing pain in her lower abdomen. She assumed it was nothing and went back to sleep. But when that same pain returned about an hour later, Narcissa realized her child was about to be born.

"Um, Lucius?" It was about three in the morning. Normally, Narcissa wouldn't even think of waking her husband at this hour, but present circumstances required that she make an exception. "Lucius, I think I'm in labor."

Lucius sat bolt upright. "Labor!?" He jumped out of bed and onto the floor. "I'll contact the midwife right away!"

Narcissa stifled a giggle and suggested, "You might want to get dressed first." Lucius didn't have a stitch on at the time.

He looked down. "Oh. Yes. Yes, of course." He ran to the wardrobe and pulled out some wearable clothing. Narcissa doubted that it was the most fashionable choice since Lucius had made it in near-darkness, but it would suffice. He then lit the lamps in the room and used a Connection Charm on the hand mirror sitting on the dresser.

"Araminta," Lucius said into the mirror urgently, "Narcissa is in labor. Come here immediately."

Narcissa heard the woman on the other end of the connection yawn. "I'll be right there," Araminta said. "I'll just need a moment to get dressed and gather my things."

Then, Lucius yelled for Dobby. "Dobby! Get in here!"

Dobby materialized in a blink. "What... what can I do for you, Master?"

"Wait downstairs. Narcissa is in labor, and the midwife is on her way."

"Yes, Master." Dobby dashed out of the room.

True to her word, Araminta arrived within minutes. The soft, maternal-looking Witch was carrying a black leather bag, presumably filled with antiseptic and anesthetic potions along with other necessary items. "Where will we be birthing the child?" she asked as soon as she entered the Malfoys' bedroom.

"Right here," Lucius said.

"All right." Araminta smiled at Narcissa and patted her on the hand. "Don't worry, dear," she assured her. "This should be over before you know it."

Even at this early stage, Narcissa didn't believe her. When the first real contraction came, Narcissa screamed so loudly that the midwife and Lucius both covered their ears.

"Never again," Narcissa vowed, panting. "Absolutely never again." It had felt as if a giant's hands were twisting apart her uterus.

"You're doing fine, Dear," Araminta told her. "Just try to relax."

"Well, that's certainly easy for you to say." Narcissa was holding Lucius' hand when the next contraction came. Again, she screamed, and so did Lucius since she squeezed his hand so hard that she could very well have broken a few bones.

"Potion," Narcissa mumbled. "I need more potion. I demand that you knock me out this instant."

Araminta said, "That isn't how it works, I'm afraid. I can only ease the pain, not make eliminate it completely."

Narcissa had another contraction. "UGH!" she shouted. "MAKE IT STOP!" Again, Lucius was her nearest target. This time, she grabbed his hair since it was in easy reach and yanked him right down to the bed without even realizing it.

"Can't you make an exception?" Lucius hissed at Araminta, rubbing his head.

After about fourteen hours of pushing, yelling, general suffering, numbing potion, and decidedly unladylike language, Narcissa Malfoy gave birth to her child. No new mother in the world could have been more grateful to have the process was over with -- or more eager to see her new daughter or son. This was it: the moment of truth. Depending on the child's appearance, her marriage would be either destroyed or given a magnificent new future.

"Congratulations," Araminta said, handing Narcissa the squirming bundle. She had wrapped the infant up in a fluffy white blanket. "It's a boy."

"A boy...." She pulled the blanket back a bit. Despite fact that the child was roaring like a wounded dragon, she could tell the Natalis Potion had worked. Wisps of silvery hair were plastered across his small forehead; his eyes, when open, were misty gray. Tears streamed down Narcissa's cheeks. She had never felt so relieved.

"Lucius," Narcissa asked proudly, "would you like to hold our son?"

Lucius didn't say anything. He only nodded quickly and held out his arms, eager to accept the baby. Narcissa handed him to his father.

"My son," Lucius whispered. By then, he was crying, too. He gently kissed the baby on its little nose. "Hello there. I'm your father." The infant paused in his screaming fit just long enough to gurgle and blink.

"Have you chosen a name?" Araminta asked.

Narcissa smiled wearily at Lucius and replied, "I think I'll leave that to my husband."

"Hm." Lucius peered down at the baby for a long time. Finally, he said, "Draco. This boy... my son.... His name is Draco."

This is his son, Narcissa thought. Even if I hadn't taken the potion, it just as easily could be, and no one will ever take that from him. In the back of her mind, though, Narcissa knew the truth. She owed Severus a debt that she knew she could never repay... except, perhaps, by letting him see the beauty he had helped create.

As she drifted off to sleep, Narcissa revolved to come up with a plan. Yes, someday, Severus was going to meet this boy.

Epilogue: Love's Reward

"Slytherin!" the Sorting Hat declared. It had barely touched the boy's head. Smirking, the blond boy hopped off the stool and went to join his new classmates. As he did, Severus, who had since become the school's Potions Master, watched from the High Table and pretended not to know him.

Narcissa's boy, Severus thought. So this is what he looks like. The boy looked much like Lucius, yes, but Severus still noticed many traces of his mother. A bit of softness to his features. Something about the shape of his eyes. And the way that he walked with his nose in the air seemed to be a perfect amalgam of Lucius and Narcissa both. But there was another thing, something else much harder to pinpoint.... Something in the child's presence reminded Severus of himself. Yes, the boy did look like Lucius, but Severus knew right down to his soul that Draco Malfoy was his son.

Thank you, Narcissa, Severus thought. It took all the will he possessed to keep his tears of joy in check. Thank you for letting me into his life, at least for the next seven years.

fin


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