Prologue: The Dark-Haired Boy
"Hurry up, Boswell," Narcissa Chantal ordered her servant, taking only the barest glance back at him. "I don't want to miss the train."
"Yes, Miss Chantal," Boswell said obediently as he pushed a cart bearing a steamer trunk filled with Narcissa's books, the finest clothing, and Narcissa's new designer robes, all purchased for Narcissa's first year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Atop the trunk was Balthasar, Narcissa's personal owl, who stretched his great white wings as much as space allowed inside his golden cage.
Normally, this sort of physical labor would have been tended to by house-elves. But getting to the Hogwarts Express required some contact with Muggles and, as Narcissa's parents had said, the sight of such a creature likely would have roused suspicion. Still, it simply wouldn't do for a Chantal woman to have to carry her own things. This was why they'd hired a man for the day and given him enough down payment to make it worth his while to do a good job.
"This way," Narcissa said, pointing towards the support between platforms nine and ten. "That's where Mother and Father said it would be. Why don't you go first?" If both her memory and her parents' directions were correct, going through this mass of brick would take her to platform nine and three-quarters, where the Hogwarts Express was due to arrive. If not, she preferred that Boswell be the one to find out instead of her.
Boswell sighed, closed his eyes and rushed towards the barrier with Narcissa's possessions. He vanished as soon as he should have made contact with what looked like a solid, unforgiving brick wall. Yes, Narcissa was in the right place. But, not being one to run unless she was actively being pursued, Narcissa simply walked towards the wall and arrived at her desired location.
It doesn't look that special, Narcissa decided with a disappointed frown. She looked around at all the other would-be first years waiting to board the Hogwarts Express, some of them nervous, some ecstatic, some pretending calm. She observed the older students who tried to frighten the younger ones with exaggerated tales about mysterious disappearances and monsters that ate new students' pets. Still others squinted at her and whispered, doubtless speculating as to where they might have seen her before.
From the corner of Narcissa’s eye, a different exchange caught and held her interest. A young boy about her age -- thin, black-eyed, a little pale -- was sulking visibly while his mother combed his shoulder-length dark hair into place. This grooming was followed by a litany of questions.
"You have your dress robes?" the boy's mother asked. "And your extra quills?"
"Yes, Mother," he answered. "I had them when I left, so I doubt they've run off anywhere."
His mother persisted, "What about your textbooks? You're certain you have all of them?"
"I'm sure of it. I checked twice."
The next inquiry was made too softly for Narcissa to hear, but the boy did mumble an answer and asked that his parents not fuss over him.
The boy's mother kissed her son on the cheek. "You're the child of our old age, Severus," she joked. "I think we should fuss over you, as long as it took us to finally have you."
Severus, Narcissa thought. So that's what his name is. She continued watching as the boy's parents laughed and smiled and wished him luck ("Not that you'll need it," the boy’s handsome father added with a wink) and hugged him and told him they loved him.
They were glad to be there for him; they wanted to be there to see him off and had probably made a special effort to make sure they could. Narcissa knew the boy was probably poor (or at least not rich, which was, to her, the same thing), but his parents were there. Narcissa felt a twinge of envy, but reasoned that poor people must have more spare time than the rich. They could afford to be there for him. Her own parents were only absent because....
"Miss Chantal?" Boswell's polite intrusion broke Narcissa's reverie.
Narcissa blinked. "Hm? Oh, yes. Follow me."
The boy -- Severus -- looked back; his eyes met Narcissa's just for a moment. What he made of her was difficult to say, if he held any opinion at all. But soon thereafter, he turned his attention to the steamer trunk that he had to drag onboard.
Boswell couldn't board the train, but he did load Narcissa's belongings onto it. Now, what do I do? Narcissa wondered. Her trunk and owl were sitting at her feet with no one to carry them or even lend a wand. She spotted that Severus boy again (he was pushing his own trunk down the aisle) and called to him, "Excuse me. Excuse me!"
He looked at her coolly.
"Excuse me," Narcissa said yet again, "but won't you please take care of this for me?" She gestured towards her things.
Severus sneered at her and simply told her, "No."
Narcissa gaped at him and demanded, "Do you know who I am?" As soon as she gave him her family name, then he would be sorry.
"Of course," Severus replied easily. He started to rummage around in his trunk. "You're an irritating little girl who thinks I should be impressed by her whining." He extracted a book, pushed the trunk into place and took his seat, paying Narcissa no further mind.
Narcissa was positively livid. "'L... little girl?!'" she sputtered. She hadn't never been a "little girl" in her life, having always been raised as a lady. "Now, see here, you common --!"
"I'll do it."
Narcissa turned around. She was met by a boy with storm-gray eyes and a mischievous grin that she didn't trust. Exasperated, she said, "Never mind. I'll do it myself." And she did, though not without considerable struggle.
Narcissa tried first to use her wand to levitate Balthasar’s cage, but not yet being a very practiced Witch, she couldn’t control it very well. It hovered. It wobbled. It crashed into a seat and, with a screeching owl inside it, tumbled to the floor. Several of the other students snickered.
Mustering all the dignity she could manage under the circumstances, Narcissa decided to move her belongings by hand. She carried Balthasar to the nearest empty seat which, unfortunately, was situated diagonally from that horrible Severus boy who had been so rude to her just minutes before. Then, she shoved her trunk under it after several tries and finally sat down. Narcissa decided to busy herself by watching the scenery race past the window and absently twisting her long hair around her fingers.
Irritating little girl, indeed, Narcissa thought, pouting. The very nerve of him, the sheer and utter nerve! Best not to think of him, she decided. No point in giving him that satisfaction... if he thought of her at all.
Narcissa Chantal wasn't accustomed to being treated like everyone else. From the time that she was five years old, she had been Miss Chantal to everyone outside of her family and her family's select group of friends. Practically since the day she was born, photographs of her had appeared intermittently in the Daily Prophet's society pages along with pictures of her parents. Even now, on the Hogwarts Express, she heard one girl whispering, “Wait. That blonde girl with the owl. Doesn’t she look familiar?”
Well, of course she looked familiar. She was Miss Narcissa Chantal.
But even to those wretched few who didn't know or ask for her name, Narcissa could always count on being noticed for her beauty and her waist-length golden hair. As her mother often said, Narcissa’s beauty was her most valuable asset. It, like magic, could be used to open many doors.
Boys are supposed to help beautiful girls, Narcissa rationalized. That’s what Mother and Father say. So, why had this... Severus treated her with such contempt?
There was no point in questioning it, Narcissa told herself. All that she had done so far was make herself quite angry. So, instead, she decided to think about her new school.
I wonder what Hogwarts is like? Narcissa thought idly, still staring out the window. Will I make friends there?
"Associate only with those of your own standing," Narcissa’s parents had told her time and time again. "Keeping the wrong sort of company can ruin the brightest of reputations." Narcissa, being a sensible girl, would never take that sort of risk. But Hogwarts was a very respectable school, definitely one of the best according to what her parents had told her. Others from the Chantals' circle would hopefully send their children there.
The only drawback to Hogwarts, really, was one rather lax aspect of its admissions policy: Hogwarts allowed Mudbloods within its walls. Narcissa's parents had complained about this before, but to no avail. Apparently, it was some sort of law, and all schools were forced to comply. But once Narcissa was sorted into Slytherin (her parents expected she would be), she hoped to find people there who, like her, understood the importance of having the right bloodline. Both sides of own her family's Wizarding history could be traced back at least five generations.
"Get away from that kid," someone hissed. Narcissa looked towards the aisle and saw the gray-eyed boy again, the one with the suspicious smile. He was speaking to another boy now, a harmless-looking one with tousled brown hair. The brown-haired boy had apparently been talking to Severus before.
"But--" the boy protested.
"Now," his friend insisted and practically dragged him away.
The brown-haired boy gave Severus a helpless little wave as his friend led him away. The two of them joined another boy, this one having dark, messy hair and round, black-rimmed glasses. The three boys talked amongst themselves, with the brown-haired boy still speaking in Severus' defense and asking his friends questions. The gray-eyed boy made a face.
"Come on, Remus," the gray-eyed boy said as he gestured towards Severus' book, "do you really think it's a good idea to talk to anybody who reads things like that?"
The boy in glasses nodded and agreed, "That is a little creepy. You'd probably best stay away from him lest he'd turn you into frog or something." Severus gave them all a disdainful glare and went back to his reading. The boys returned to their seats.
Curious, Narcissa took a good look at the title of the book that Severus was reading: Gandorf's Compendium of Curses.
How unusual, Narcissa thought. Her parents had a copy of this book, too, and she knew that it was relatively rare. Perhaps she had misjudged Severus' family. For them to have acquired such a book and encouraged their son in its study, they must have had either a good deal of money, the right priorities, or both.
Narcissa herself had never read from this book, at least not to any real extent. While her parents taught her that a good grasp of the Dark Arts would be useful to have, as yet, such heavy reading was too taxing on her attention span. She wondered, did Severus actually understand what he was reading, or was he merely showing off?
Severus looked up and asked, "Are you staring at me?" No pretense; only the question.
Narcissa blushed and said, "Of course not. Why would I ever be staring at you?"
Severus gave her a funny look and returned to his reading.
He must have it just for show, Narcissa decided as she pretended to look out the window again, but continued watching Severus from the corner of her eye. A conversation piece, as Mother would call it.
Severus sighed, set his book down and told Narcissa, "You're staring at me again." He was glaring at her then and clearly becoming annoyed.
"I'm not looking at you," Narcissa lied, although her indignation was quite genuine. "If anything, I think you're looking at me and trying to shift the blame."
"If you say so." Severus went back to his book.
A rather embarrassed Narcissa made sure to watch only the scenery from then on.
Chapter One: Enter Prince Charming.
Dear Narcissa,
Your father and I have wonderful news. You are to marry Lucius Malfoy, son of Montgomery and Desireé Malfoy, after your eighteenth birthday and your final departure from Hogwarts. You have met them all before, although you were quite small at the time, and of course you've seen Lucius in the papers.
All details will be discussed when you come home next week.
Love,
Your Mother and Father.
PS Since you are twelve today, you are now officially a lady. I hope that you're wearing the makeup I sent.
The PS was from Narcissa's mother, of course. Yesterday afternoon, Belisma Chantal had sent her daughter an early birthday gift of various cosmetics in a red satin case. The makeup had been carefully chosen by a professional stylist to suit Narcissa's features and coloring, and Narcissa had been instructed in its use since she was ten years old. Being the true lady that she was, of course Narcissa had made sure to put some on this morning.
Lucius Malfoy? Narcissa blinked at the letter. How old is he? Twenty-four? Twenty-five? Yes, he was remarkably handsome and came from an excellent Pureblood family, but this was all a bit overwhelming for a girl who had just turned twelve today. She had only recently stopped playing with dolls, and she had only done that because her mother had tossed them out and insisted she was too old for such things.
And now, for most intents and purposes, Narcissa was engaged. She was engaged to a man who was literally twice her age.
"What's that, Narcissa?" asked Anna Sharon, one of Narcissa's four best friends. She was trying to take a peek at the letter. "You look a bit upset."
"Just a letter from my parents," Narcissa said with a nervous smile. "It's nothing, really, just... unnecessary reminders and such." She stuffed the letter into the pocket of her designer robes. "Aren't you glad it's nearly spring vacation?" Narcissa asked, changing the subject. "Classes can be so boring sometimes, and I can't stand the common filth we have to share them with."
"Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't so bad," Suzanne Maelstrom put in slyly. "But then, none of my other teachers look quite like Professor Shale."
All of Narcissa's friends giggled at this, and Narcissa smiled herself. Professor Shale was rather good-looking for a man old enough to be her father.
"Do you think he's married?" Narcissa asked.
"He doesn't look married," Daphne McKenna observed and gave a dreamy sigh. "But someday, I hope he'll marry me."
Suzanne tossed her long, jet black hair and said, "Well, you can have him, I suppose. But if you take Professor Shale, I want Lucius Malfoy."
All the girls positively swooned, with the exception of Narcissa. No one seemed to notice.
"He is so good-looking," Daphne agreed, "and he comes from the perfect family."
Narcissa asked innocently, "But what about boys our own age? Is there something wrong with all of them?"
Suzanne rolled her eyes and said, "Only everything. Boy are so silly and immature."
Narcissa couldn't argue with her.
"Except for one, maybe," Marina Cinnamon said shyly. "What about Severus Snape? You know, the one who's always sitting with those older boys and knows all those curses?"
"Oh, yes," Daphne said with a nod, "he seems quite interesting for someone his age. I've heard that he can even perform the Unforgivable Curses." The latter part was true. Narcissa had heard him admit it himself on the first day of school.
"Well, I don't like him at all," Narcissa sniffed. "I spoke with him on my first day of school, and he was simply horrid to me. Besides, what do we know about his family, and he has greasy hair and a very big nose. I could never marry that... thing."
"You don't have to marry him to kiss him," Suzanne grinned. "My older sister says that kissing and such is all some boys are good for."
Narcissa only looked at her blankly.
- - - - - -
"Welcome home, Narcissa," Belisma Chantal greeted her only daughter, laying her hands on Narcissa's shoulders and kissing the air by Narcissa's cheek. "How was the train ride home?"
"I... started bleeding on the way here," Narcissa said, looking away from her mother. "The nurse on the train gave me some things and said that you'd explain the rest. She said I was becoming a woman."
Belisma stepped back, turning pale. "Narcissa," she said quietly, "you'll have to be very careful now. Stay away from boys or you may end up with a baby."
"But, Mother, you haven't told me how --"
"There's my little princess," Cadmus Chantal said with a smile as he walked into the foyer of the mansion. He picked Narcissa up and hugged her, spinning her around. "It looks like you might've grown since winter. You're turning into a lovely young woman."
Narcissa giggled. "Thank you, Father." He set her back on the floor.
"Lucius and his family will be joining us for supper," Belisma announced. "The house-elves have already laid out your things and drawn your bath, and you'd best start getting ready."
"Yes, Mother." Narcissa ran up the stairs ("Like a lady," her mother called after her. "Narcissa, slow down and walk properly!"), nearly tripping over Blinky the house-elf in the process.
"Watch where you're going!" Narcissa snapped.
"Blinky begs your pardon, Miss Narcissa," the terrified-looking elf apologized. "Blinky didn't mean to get in Miss Narcissa's way."
Narcissa sighed and said, "Oh, never mind that. Just help me prepare to meet Lucius."
"Yes, Miss."
Blinky followed Narcissa to her personal bath chamber. Inside was a large, round tub filled with hot water and rose-scented bubbles. Glass shelves all around were lined with various oils, powders, perfumes and potions, and the white marble counter was set with cosmetics of all kinds. Fluffy pink towels hung draped over a gilded rod on the wall.
Narcissa undressed and stepped into the tub. Blinky promptly started washing Narcissa's hair.
"Miss Narcissa is going to look very beautiful for Mister Lucius Malfoy," Blinky said brightly. "She's going to impress him rightly, she is."
"He's twice my age," Narcissa groaned, sitting there patiently as the house-elf worked the suds through her waist-length hair. "I don't even know him, really; I haven't seen him since I was four!"
"But Miss Narcissa's parents know he'll take good care of her. A very wealthy man, he is."
"I suppose you're right."
Narcissa let Blinky help her towel off and dry her hair a bit. Then, Narcissa used a sprinkle of drying dust on her hair to help finish the job before applying lotion and perfume to her skin. Blinky helped her slip into her white stockings, pale blue satin gown and elbow-length white gloves. Blinky curled Narcissa's into soft, girlish ringlets; Narcissa painted her own face. The look was completed with diamond barrettes and genuine glass slippers.
Once the process was finished, Narcissa looked stunning -- and considerably older than her mere twelve years. She stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror in her bath chamber, barely recognizing herself.
Narcissa didn't feel ready for this. She didn't feel ready at all.
"Mister Lucius Malfoy and family are probably arriving now," Blinky told Narcissa, bringing her back to reality. "Blinky heard the doorbell downstairs."
"...Thank you," Narcissa said vaguely. She headed towards the stairs as if she were sleepwalking.
"There she is," Cadmus said brightly when Narcissa appeared at the top of the stairs. "Princess, come down and say hello to our guests."
"She looks absolutely stunning," Desireé Malfoy breathed. "My goodness, Belisma, where did our little Narcissa go?"
Montgomery agreed, "Yes, she is a beauty." Narcissa didn't like his smile. "She should make a fine wife for our son."
Even Narcissa's mother was smiling, much to Narcissa's relief. Narcissa must have looked just right and shown the proper poise. Come to think of it, the only one not smiling... was Lucius. He looked just as Narcissa remembered him: tall, handsome, silver-blond, and very, very cold.
"Don't you like her, Lucius?" Montgomery asked, laying his hand on his son's shoulder. "She's quite a lovely girl."
"She's an infant," Lucius said flatly. "A well-painted one, perhaps, but she is still an infant. How can you expect me to marry a child barely out of diapers?"
Narcissa blushed beet red.
"She won't be twelve when you marry her, Lucius," Desireé said with a sparkling laugh. "You'll marry her after she leaves school."
"Yes," Montgomery confirmed, still leering at the very young girl. "By then, she should be sufficiently ripe." Narcissa felt a little queasy.
Belisma clapped her hands and said, "Now that we're all here, let's settle down for supper." Everyone filed into the dining room, and Narcissa was quite glad to get away from Lucius' father. She tried to sit between her parents, but her mother insisted that she and Lucius be seated side by side. Well, at least Narcissa didn't have to sit next to Montgomery.
Dinner, for Narcissa at least, was mostly quiet and awkward. The adults (except for Lucius) chatted animatedly about business and politics and rumors of questionable lineage found in allegedly Pureblood families. Lucius and Narcissa both spoke only when directly addressed, and Lucius looked terribly, terribly bored.
He doesn't want this, either, Narcissa thought miserably, picking at her food. How can I get out of this?
Narcissa was looking forward to returning to school already. At least there, she could forget that she was betrothed to Lucius Malfoy and simply spend time with friends her own age.
Chapter Two: "And He Caressed Her Naked Thigh...."
All of Narcissa's friends were gathered in the First Year Slytherin girls' dorm, sitting on Narcissa's neatly made bed behind the drawn green curtains. "You are so lucky," Daphne gushed when Narcissa told her what had happened on the train before spring break. "I'm still waiting to get mine and I'm a good four months older than you! Goodness, Nar, why didn't you tell us about it earlier?" She was, of course, referring to the bleeding incident.
Narcissa replied with a shrug, "I didn't know what was happening. And the nurse told me to ask my mother. Mother didn't say much, though, even when I asked her twice. She only said that I could have a baby now, and that it would happen every month."
"That's part of it," Suzanne said matter-of-factly, "but that isn't everything. You're the second in our group; I got mine when I was eleven."
Narcissa frowned and said, "But what is it? And what does it have to do with babies?"
Daphne, Suzanne and Marina all looked at each other. Only Anna seemed as puzzled as Narcissa was.
Suzanne asked incredulously, "You don't know?"
Narcissa shook her head.
"I don't, either," Anna confessed. "What's it all about?"
"Hm," Suzanne said, "I'd better tell you, then."
Suzanne's explanation was rather curious, to say the least, and not at all what Narcissa might have imagined if she ever thought of such things. Her mother had said that after marriage, men and women had babies. Nothing more; nothing less. How the babies came into being was something of a mystery, save that they "came from the mother."
"Wait a minute," Narcissa interrupted. "The boy is supposed to put what where?"
Daphne, Marina and Suzanne giggled. Anna looked as stricken as Narcissa felt.
"That sounds rather painful," Anna said, crossing her legs and making a face.
"It's true," Marina confirmed. "That's what my mother told me, and I have two brothers. I know what boys look like naked." She snickered and added, "Truthfully, they look sort of funny."
"But you learn to like how they look," stated the ever-knowledgeable Suzanne, adjusting her cat's eye glasses. "My sister told me so, and she should know: she's nineteen. And sex isn't just for making babies. It can make you feel really good."
Narcissa wrinkled her perfect little nose and said, "That feels good?"
"Wait just a minute." Suzanne slipped away and some rustling was heard. Shortly, Suzanne returned with a book. On its cover were a beautiful red-haired woman in a low-cut velvet dress, embraced by a tanned, shirtless, muscular man with flowing golden locks. This book was titled Flames of Desire.
"Really good," Suzanne said again. "Like in this book my sister gave me." She thumbed through to pages to one she had dog-eared. All of the girls, Narcissa included, gathered around to listen as Suzanne read. And as Suzanne read the passage, not another sound was heard.
"Wow," Narcissa, Marina and Anna all whispered in awe.
"See?" Suzanne said triumphantly. "I told you it felt good."
"Might I borrow this?" Narcissa asked a bit too eagerly. "Just for curiosity's sake, of course."
"Me, too," Anna piped up. "For... curiosity's sake. Of course."
"And me," Marina added, but without making up an excuse.
Suzanne shrugged and replied, "I have several like it. You can each have one."
All three girls blushed and grinned, eager to receive their books. Marina's choice was Rebel Hearts. Anna cheerfully took Endless Horizons. And naturally, Narcissa insisted that she should keep Flames of Desire. Eventually, they would make an exchange.
- - - - - -
For the next five days, Narcissa spent all of her spare moments reading the wonderful book that dear Suzanne had let her borrow. Then she read it again. And she read it again. The heroine of it was only sixteen; her lover was exactly thirty, worldly and experienced. It wasn't all that different from Narcissa and Lucius, really, save that what they had could hardly be called desire or love. It was more akin to making the best of a rotten situation.
Truthfully, Narcissa found her mind drifting towards a certain dark-haired boy. It was none other than Severus Snape, the mysterious Dark Arts prodigy. The boy who, at their very first meeting, had called her an irritating little girl.
But he's nothing like Rory, Narcissa mused, referring to her novel's rugged hero. He's skinny and pale and his nose is too big, and I dread to imagine what his hair feels like.
Nonetheless, he had to oddest quality about him, something that, for whatever reason, kept him close to Narcissa's thoughts. She didn't exactly like him, of course; it wasn't anything like that. It was just that he was so different, and everybody talked about him. Since Severus had been deemed worthy of discussion even by the seventh-years, it was only natural that Narcissa found him interesting even if he wasn't nice or attractive.
Narcissa still remembered their first day at Hogwarts as clearly as if it had happened last night. All the First Years there were waiting to be Sorted, standing in the room just outside of the Great Hall. Some boy by the name of Sirius Black (whom Narcissa had long since grown to despise) had apparently been making fun of Severus, and the next thing that anyone knew, he'd had a Silence curse slapped on him, courtesy of Severus. Sirius' mouth was sealed right shut, and he was hopping around in a panic.
Everyone was amazed by Severus (or at least a little frightened), and admittedly, Narcissa was dazzled herself. How could an eleven-year-old boy have known how to cast such a powerful curse? But that wasn't all. It came to be known later that day by Severus' own admission that he could even perform the Unforgivable Curses.
"Only on bugs and small animals," Severus had said when he was asked if the rumors were true -- when he was asked if he'd performed these curses. Still, for someone his age, even this much was astonishing.
Severus was a mystery, that much was for certain. But this didn't mean Narcissa wanted much to do with him besides finding out where his knowledge had come from. And it wasn't as though Severus had really acknowledged Narcissa's existence since their first ride on the Hogwarts Express.
This is so stupid, Narcissa thought crossly. Why should I care what he thinks of me? She went back to her novel and sighed as Rory took Aurelia into his strong, masculine arms. The last thing that she read about before she went to sleep was their first night of hot, passionate love.
- - - - - -
Sixteen-year-old Narcissa stood all alone in the field, a gentle spring breeze ruffling her lustrous flaxen hair and making it swirl about her like a haze of golden sun. The sky was reflected in her wide, sparkling azure eyes as she lifted her innocent gaze towards the clouds that crawled above. As she stood there, lovely as the dawn, she had to adjust the black velvet corset which could just barely restrain her very ample bosom. The sweet, supple curves of her slender body were graced by the touch of her navy silk ball gown.
"Narcissa!" It was Rory, come to meet her in this lonely field. No one ever looked for them there, not even Narcissa's father, the baron, who disapproved of her and Rory's love.
"Rory!" Narcissa ran towards him and he literally swept the young girl off her feet and into his muscular arms, holding her to his broad, tanned chest and perfect washboard stomach. He wasted no time in indulging Narcissa's rose petal lips with his fiery kisses.
Narcissa gasped and let her lover lay her in the fresh green grass. She nearly swooned as Rory tore the bodice of her gown with his strong, manly hands and freed her bountiful breasts from their cloth prison. He caressed her creamy skin, his manhood firmly pressed against her naked thigh.
"Oh, Rory," Narcissa moaned, "Rory...!" But when she looked up, she saw the face of....
Severus Snape.
"Narcissa? Narcissa! You're having a nightmare! Narcissa, wake up!" It was Anna, shaking her awake.
Narcissa's eyes fluttered open, and she awoke in a cold sweat. Quickly, she peered down the front of her nightgown. To her relief and disappointment, yes, she was still twelve.
"God," Narcissa whispered, shaking, "it was horrible! Absolutely horrible!"
Marina sat down next to her (all her friends were there) and put her arm around her. "It must have been," she said sympathetically. "You were screaming bloody murder."
It took Narcissa's friends some time to calm her down, and she refused to tell them exactly what had happened in her dream. She wouldn't now; she wouldn't ever. Not even on the pain of death. Instead, she only told them that she couldn't quite remember.
"I'm fine now," Narcissa assured the others. "Just go back to bed and I'll try to do the same."
"Are you sure?" Anna asked.
"Yes. No need to worry."
"If you say so."
Anna, Marina, Daphne and Suzanne all went back to their beds. Narcissa did her best to get back to sleep and eventually succeeded. Thankfully, the rest of her dreams were Severus-free.
In the morning, Narcissa woke up, washed up, got dressed and went to breakfast just the way she always did. She and her friends sat at the Slytherin table; they whispered and giggled and asked for more regarding the forbidden books that Suzanne had introduced them to about two weeks ago.
"There's plenty for everyone," Suzanne said. "Narcissa, you can try a new one if you like."
"Yes," Narcissa said, "I would. Flames of Desire was wonderful." But from the corner of her eye, she'd taken notice of Severus Snape without meaning to. He was seated in his usual place with several older boys at the other end of the table.
Why him? Narcissa thought bitterly. Why did he have to end up in my dream?
Severus must have realized the he was being watched. He paused in his conversation with Evan Rosier, a third year, and looked directly at Narcissa. Narcissa looked away too quickly to read his expression, but she was certain it was one of annoyance.
"Narcissa?" It was Daphne. "Narcissa, are you still here?"
"Oh, yes," Narcissa said hastily, picking at her grapefruit. "I was merely distracted, is all."
Chapter Three: Romancing The Stone
It had started with that stupid dream. Ever since Narcissa had had it, she couldn't even look at Severus Snape without blushing, and whenever she saw him in the hall, she did her very best to avoid him. Potions was the worst: two hours with him inside a closed room. Granted, they were hardly alone, but Narcissa was convinced that he could see what she was thinking.
Don't look at him, Narcissa told herself. Just don't look at him, and maybe he won't know. But as well-focused as she was on not looking at Severus, her concentration on her work wasn't quite as good. She accidentally dumped half a bottle powdered batwing into a potion that only required a tablespoonful. The brew, which was supposed to be yellow, turned red and bubbled over onto the desk. Narcissa and Suzanne, her partner for the day, both rushed to the back of the room for towels.
"Are you feeling all right?" Suzanne asked as she and Narcissa cleaned up the mess. "You've seemed a bit edgy all week."
"I'm fine," Narcissa replied more snappishly than she'd intended. "I... I just got distracted, is all. Can't a girl just be distracted now and then?"
Suzanne grinned. "What's his name?"
Narcissa blinked. "What do you mean?"
"The boy who made you ruin our potion. You can tell me, what's his name?"
"Suzanne...."
Marina and Anna were working nearby. They must have overheard Suzanne since both of them abandoned their class work to get a piece of the gossip.
"What's this about a boy?" Marina whispered.
"Narcissa's got a crush," Suzanne whispered smugly.
Marina and Anna both gasped. Not far away, Daphne was visibly straining to hear what was going on.
"Who is it?" Anna whispered. "Is he in this class?"
"I do not have a crush," Narcissa insisted, sulking a little. "Suzanne is getting things all twisted." But the fact that her face had just gone crimson told another story.
"Miss Sharon!" snapped Professor Parrish, "Miss Cinnamon! Get back to your work immediately!"
"Sorry, Professor," both girls said and hurried back to their station. Although Professor Parrish looked like someone's kindly old grandmother, she had a reputation for handing out the harshest punishments in Hogwarts.
"So who is it?" Suzanne insisted. "Just whisper it to me."
Narcissa glared at her.
"Fine, then I'll guess." Suzanne put aside the used cauldron, which belonged to Narcissa, and put her own on the now-clean desk so that they could start again. "James Potter?" she asked.
"No. And I told you I don't have a crush!"
"Is it Evan Rosier? That third year? He's rather attractive."
"No."
"Sirius Black?"
Narcissa looked at Suzanne as though something disgusting were hanging from the girl's nose.
Suzanne laughed. "All right, so it isn't him."
Suzanne continued offering names as she and Narcissa worked on the potion, none of which elicited much of a response. Then she glanced around and whispered very, very softly, "Is it Severus Snape?"
Narcissa dropped her measuring spoon. This time, luckily, there wasn't anything in it. "That's... that's absurd," Narcissa whispered back. She picked her spoon up off the floor. "I could never have a crush on him."
"I don't know," Suzanne whispered back, grinning. "You have to admit that his gift for the Dark Arts makes him rather interesting."
"Well...."
"You have a crush on him," Suzanne said triumphantly. "You may as well admit it."
Narcissa only sniffed and sprinkled some nightshade root in the cauldron.
- - - - - -
I do not have a crush on Severus, Narcissa told herself. That's absolutely silly. Yes, he is unusual, but that's hardly a basis for anything.
Or so she insisted on almost an hourly basis for the next two weeks. But ever since Suzanne had planted the suggestion, Narcissa had had a nagging feeling that her friend might be right. A feeling that, whether she liked it or not, she might be attracted to this boy. There was no rhyme or reason to it; it just simply was.
But I'm engaged to Lucius, Narcissa reminded herself as she picked at her lunch. Granted, I had no say in the matter, but....
"Narcissa?" It was Anna, gently tapping her on the shoulder as she spoke.
Narcissa looked up. "Hm?"
"I asked if you wanted your cookie." Anna tilted her head and frowned. "You've been acting strangely for some time now," she observed. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"
"How do you get a boy's attention?" Narcissa blurted out. It happened just like that before she could even stop herself. She was absolutely mortified when she realized what she had said, but all of her friends' faces were alight. They were obviously eager for the details of Narcissa's crush.
"Any boy in particular?" Suzanne asked slyly. "I think I know which one."
Narcissa wanted to die. "I didn't mean to say that," she mumbled. "It just... came out, is all."
"Does he go to this school?" Daphne asked, leaning over the table a bit.
Anna asked, "Is he in our year?"
"You can trust us," urged Marina. "We won't tell anyone."
"...Not here," Narcissa said. "I may tell you later."
"Let's go back to our dorm," Daphne suggested. "You can tell us there!"
"But --"
"No excuses," Suzanne said playfully. "You're coming with us, and that's final."
Narcissa sighed and said, "All right." Shortly thereafter, she reluctantly followed four squealing, giggling girls into the First Year Slytherin girls' dorm, which was otherwise unoccupied, and closed the door behind her. They all congregated on Narcissa's bed and drew the curtains.
"So who is it?" Anna asked eagerly. "We promise not to tell a soul."
Narcissa twisted a lock of her hair around her index finger. "It's...."
All the girls waited in wide-eyed anticipation.
Narcissa cleared her throat. "It's...."
"Tell us already," Daphne said, exasperated. "We'd tell you about our crushes if you asked."
Narcissa fidgeted and asked, "Well, who do you have a crush on?" In doing so, she hoped to change the subject.
Daphne grinned. "Evan Rosier," she confessed. As could be expected, this elicited a good many giggles.
"He's kind of good-looking," Marina said thoughtfully. "I can see why you like him."
"He is," Suzanne agreed with a toss of her long, black hair. "And is it just me, or is Sirius Black kind of handsome for a first year?"
"A Gryffindor?" Anna asked. Her eyebrows had nearly shot into her hairline. "You know what the Gryffindors say about us!"
"It's nothing worse than what we say about them, and all is fair when it comes to attractive boys." Suzanne pushed her glasses up on her nose and laid her hand on Narcissa's shoulder. "Now," she said, "fair is fair. Why don't you tell us who you like?"
"But --" Narcissa began.
"Come on, Narcissa," Marina said playfully. "We're not giving up until you do."
Narcissa sighed. She knew there was no getting out of this. So, reluctantly, she mumbled, "It's Severus Snape. Or at least I think it is. I'm really not quite sure."
Suzanne frowned and asked, "Not sure? What do you mean you're not sure?"
Narcissa looked away. "I'm not sure what I'm feeling about him," she explained. "All I'm certain of is that I end up thinking about him entirely too often."
"Do you think he's good-looking?" Anna asked.
"Not particularly, but... there's just something about him."
"I know what you mean," Daphne said. "I kind of like him, too."
"But that's just it," Narcissa said, "I really shouldn't like him at all. From the very day I met him, he was rude to me."
"That may be why you like him," Suzanne said sagely. "My sister says it's sexy when boys play hard-to-get."
Narcissa blinked. "Sexy?"
"Mm-hm. You know, like romance novels."
Narcissa, reminded of her dream, cleared her throat and twisted a lock of hair around her finger. "But aren't the boys supposed to chase the girls?" she asked, hoping no one noticed the blush creeping into her cheeks. "My mother says that that's what's proper, and that's how it happens in novels."
Suzanne shrugged. "Maybe most of the time," she said. "But that's not how my sister does it, and she always has new boyfriends."
Narcissa toyed with her hair a bit more and looked away. "Well, even if I did like him," she said, "nothing could ever come of it My family would have him killed and lock me in a tower."
"Oh, but that just makes it more romantic," Daphne sighed. "I mean, forbidden love and all -- just like in Flames of Desire!"
All of Narcissa's friends squealed.
Narcissa rolled her eyes.
Chapter Four:
Damsel in Distress
Despite Suzanne's encouragement, Narcissa decided it was best that she not pursue Severus, at least not for now. After all, she had her image as a lady to maintain.
Besides, even if she did get his attention, she had no idea what to do with it. Yes, she liked reading the romance novels. Yes, the kisses, caresses and such she found within their pages made her swoon. Nonetheless, at the age of twelve, such things were very firmly rooted in the realm of fantasy for her. The mere prospect of making them real at this point in her life was very, very scary, though Narcissa couldn't quite say why.
Over time, though, she underwent changes. Narcissa was turning into a woman.
"I daresay, Narcissa," Montgomery remarked, "I believe you grow more beautiful every time we visit you." He, his wife and Lucius were having dinner that evening with Narcissa and her parents. This took place during the summer before Narcissa's third year.
"Thank you, Sir," Narcissa said, not wanting to look him in the eyes. She had never liked those eyes, which always leered at her unsettlingly.
True enough, Montgomery Malfoy never yet laid a hand on her, but likely, this was only because Narcissa took great care not to be alone with him. Narcissa wasn't naïve. She had read all about men like him in Chains of the Heart, where the evil baron had tried to have his way with Lady Chamomile behind the stables. In Narcissa's case, however, she doubted that any handsome rogue would save her just in time if Montgomery cornered her.
"Oh, definitely," Narcissa's mother Belisma agreed. "We're very proud of her."
Lucius, of course, said nothing. He just picked at his food and stared blindly at the wall.
"May I please be excused?" Narcissa asked. "I'd like to step out for a breath of fresh air." Truthfully, she just wanted to get away from Montgomery. Unfortunately, he had other plans.
"An excellent idea," Montgomery said. "If it's all right, I'll accompany her." He smiled at his wife, his son and Narcissa's parents. "In all this time," he explained, "I don't think I've had a proper conversation with my future daughter-in-law."
Narcissa's heart sank into her shoes. She quickly looked towards her parents, hoping they would save her. But going by their calm expressions, Belisma and Cadmus were (or had chosen to be) blissfully ignorant of Montgomery's intentions towards their daughter. Maybe they didn't want to believe he was capable of such a thing.
"Come to think of it, Father, neither have I," Lucius put in sharply. "Don't you think it's time we spoke in private for a change?"
Narcissa blinked at Lucius. She was absolutely shocked.
"I agree," Desireé Malfoy put in, glaring at her husband. "Why don't we let our son get to know his future bride without our getting in the way?"
"An excellent suggestion," Belisma agreed, and her husband nodded as he took a sip of wine. "Narcissa, what do you think?"
"Yes," Narcissa said, "it's a wonderful idea!" The young girl jumped up from her chair and practically ran out of the dining room, and Lucius wasn't far behind. She never thought she'd be so eager to spend time with this man.
Narcissa and Lucius went to the gazebo in the gardens, which were well in bloom. Pink, white and yellow roses surrounded the white dome, which dripped green with climbing ivy. Narcissa took her seat on the bench inside. Lucius sat beside her.
"Don't misunderstand me," Lucius said, "I still think our engagement is a poor idea. But I saw how my father was looking at you, and you should hear what he says about you when my mother isn't home. I wouldn't have been any kind of a man if I hadn't intervened." He wasn't facing Narcissa, not quite. But when Narcissa looked at him, she could make out a faint trace of affection -- or at least of sympathy.
"Understood," Narcissa said with a ladylike nod. With that, she had almost coaxed a smile out of Lucius. She gave him a full one in return.
"Do you think we'll be happy?" Narcissa asked. She leaned against Lucius' shoulder, prompting him to put his arm around her. Even if the difference in their ages hadn't changed, something else between them had which made this feel quite nice.
"It's possible," Lucius said. "Only time will tell. In the meantime, though, you are still a child, and I shall regard you as such."
- - - - - -
Another school year went by. Narcissa had turned fourteen. Between last summer and this one, Narcissa had had to deal with... certain expected developments young girls faced as they crossed the threshold into womanhood, although most girls didn't face them on quite the same scale as Narcissa did. Simply put, she had become rather well-endowed.
Where did these come from? Narcissa wondered. She turned and looked at her half-clothed form from the side in the mirror on her bedroom door. I swear those weren't there yesterday, and certainly not at the beginning of summer. In just a few more days, she would be returning to school. She hoped her friends wouldn't make an issue of the fairly rapid onset of her maturity.
"Wow, Narcissa," Suzanne remarked on their first night back at Hogwarts. All the girls were getting into their nightclothes. "You certainly have changed over the summer." As she spoke, she was staring directly at Narcissa's breasts. The other girls were staring, too, very much impressed.
Narcissa crossed her arms, blushing fiercely and quite thankful that she was still wearing her bra. "Well, it isn't my doing," she snapped. "It just happened on its own."
"...You didn't use an Engorgement Charm on those, did you?" Daphne asked. "I know a girl who did that once, and they just kept getting bigger and bigger until she couldn't even stand up. She had to go to the hospital."
"No," Narcissa said through gritted teeth, "I did not. I told you, it happened on its own." She jerked her nightgown over he head and tied her hair back in a ponytail with a blue satin ribbon.
Suzanne shook her head. "Goodness, you're lucky."
"Not that lucky," Narcissa said as she sat down on her bed. "Sometimes, they hurt my back."
"But all the boys were looking at you," Suzanne pointed out slyly, "even the seventh years. Didn't you see them on the train and at the feast?"
Narcissa smiled modestly. "Well...." True, the boys had noticed of her -- even more so than usual. The only problem was that not a single one of those boys happened to be Severus Snape, who seemed no more interested in her than he had been for the last three years.
I wonder if he likes girls at all? Narcissa thought, a little worried. What if he's like Marina's cousin Archibald? After all, if he didn't want her, how could he want any girl?
"Narcissa? Hello...." It was Suzanne, who also snapped her fingers next to Narcissa's ear for good measure. "Are you still with us?"
Narcissa blinked. "Oh. Sorry."
"Is something wrong?" Anna asked.
"Um, no, not wrong...."
Suzanne grinned and said, "It's about Severus, isn't it?"
Narcissa shook her head in disbelief. "How do you always know these things?" she asked.
"I earned high marks in Divination last year for a reason." Suzanne winked at her.
The girls were all in their nightgowns then. All of them gathered, as usual, on Narcissa's bed and drew the curtains.
"I'm worried he doesn't like girls," Narcissa said confidentially. "What if that's the reason why he's never liked me?"
Marina suggested, "You could ask him. He seems like a very direct sort of person."
And so she did the very next day. She marched up to him in the morning and asked him over breakfast.
"Might I ask you a question?" Narcissa inquired as Severus ate some toast and jam.
"Be quick about it," Severus told her, giving her only the barest glance.
Narcissa fidgeted a bit. Then she asked, "Do you like girls at all?"
Severus turned around on his seat and gave her a funny look. "What sort of question is that?"
"An honest one. I expect a matching answer."
"I do like girls," Severus said. "I'm just not especially fond of you, if that's why you're asking." Several of his friends tried to stifle their snickers.
"But why not?" Narcissa persisted crossly. "What reason could you have for not liking me?"
"I find you rather spoiled," Severus informed her without batting an eye. "You seem to think the bloody world revolves around you, and I don't find that trait especially appealing." He went back to eating his breakfast.
Narcissa didn't know what to say. Strangely, though, after this, she found herself even more drawn to him than she had been before.
- - - - -
Even if Severus wasn't all that interested in Narcissa, plenty of other boys were. In fact, they had become especially accommodating starting in her fourth year, and yes, she knew the reason. It didn't matter to her, though. Being idolized was her birthright. Anything less was unnatural.
However, there was one admirer she could have done without. This particular boy was Sirius Black. Not to say he wasn't good-looking, but he had an unfortunate habit of flirting with anything that resembled a girl and even certain boys, such as his best friend James Potter. More than that, Sirius. unlike the rest, didn't seem to realize Narcissa Chantal was completely out of his pitiful reach and far above his station. He seemed to think his handsome face should grant him certain privileges... and Narcissa was very quick to point out that this was not the case.
"Carry your books for you?" Sirius asked, catching up to Narcissa in the hall. His friends, James, Peter and Remus, as well as Narcissa's friends stood aside to see what was going to come of this.
"No thank you," Narcissa said, not even turning her head to look at him. "I don't want someone like you expecting gratitude."
"It isn't my fault that I love beautiful women," Sirius told her with a grin, "and you're the prettiest girl in the school -- even if you are in Slytherin."
"That isn't my face you're looking at, Sirius."
"Well, you're also probably the shapeliest girl in the school. You're better put together than a lot of the seventh years."
"Is there a point to this?"
"Yes. I want you to go the Yule Ball with me."
Narcissa stopped dead in her tracks and shot Sirius a glare that could have frozen a tropical river. Disdainfully, she told him, "Please tell me you're joking."
Sirius, still grinning, said, "Would these dimples lie?"
Narcissa rolled her eyes and tried to walk past him. He stood in her way.
"Please?" Sirius persisted.
"I'd suggest you get out of my way."
"Not until you say you'll go to the ball with me. We'll be the envy of everyone there."
Exasperated and not wanting to be late for Potions, Narcissa opted for her last resort. She stomped on Sirius' left foot and brushed past him while he was yelping in pain.
From the corner of her eye, Narcissa couldn't help but notice that Severus was watching. He was leaning against a nearby wall.
Narcissa paused just long enough to give him a questioning look. Severus looked right back at her, brushed his hair out of his eyes... and smiled.
- - - - - -
"I still can't believe you turned down Sirius," Daphne said. The girls were gathered in their usual evening meeting place. "I know he's a Gryffindor and all, but he's absolutely gorgeous!"
"Looks aren't everything," Narcissa said. "Personally, I find him obnoxious." And for some unknown reason, she found this line of conversation strikingly familiar.
"Well, I'm thankful that you turned him down," Suzanne said with a sloe-eyed smile. "Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked me."
"When did he ask you?"
"Right after supper. And he kissed me, too, when I said yes."
Anna, Daphne and Marina gasped. Narcissa tried not to look revolted.
"A kiss?" Anna asked. "You mean, a real kiss? On the lips?"
"Mm-hmm," Suzanne confirmed, "right near the stairs leading into Gryffindor Tower. I suppose that everyone will know about it by tomorrow."
"I'm so jealous," Daphne sighed. "You're going to the ball with Sirius, and he gave you a real kiss! He reminds me quite a bit of the pirate prince in Ravished: he's so handsome, and yet so...."
"Bad," Marina finished for her, giggling. "I can't believe what he and Potter did in Potions today." An unknown party had enchanted the blackboard in that class. Whenever Professor Parrish's back was turned to it, Messages such as "Snape is a git" and "Try to look busy" would appear in chalk at random. When she began to turn around, the messages faded away.
Severus, of course, hadn't been amused. He reported the prank to Professor Parrish, but no one could prove who had played it. Sirius Black and James Potter confessed after Parrish threatened to give the entire class detention.
"What was it like?" Anna asked Suzanne. "Being kissed, I mean. Is it like it is in stories?"
Suzanne turned thoughtful. "Kind of," she said, "but not quite. Still, it's very nice, and I'd really like to do it again," she laughed and added, "especially with Sirius."
"Are you going to the ball at all?" Daphne asked Narcissa.
Narcissa shook her head. "I think I'll sit it out this year." She knew that her parents might not approve, given her engagement to Lucius. Besides, there was only one boy in the school who she wanted to go with anyway, and there was little chance of that.
|
